proof read my paper please?

I didn’t read it all .. but you should definitely NOT start your paper with a quote — at least not one like that.

Part of the problem, I’m not really sure what your paper is about? What is your thesis? Most of the rest (I got about 1/2 way through) seems to be well written, but you really need to work on that first graph!

Bands such as the Quarrymen and the Silver Beatles don’t mean much to modern day society (Hawksley, Lucinda). Yet, these two particular bands are the little bits of nothing that made up the 60’s revolution that is The Beatles. Starting up in 1957(Rough Guides, 2003) commencing success in 1962 The Beatles are legends to this day bringing the world the new rock and roll and influencing the artists now heard on the radio. Yet, they managed to bring back romanticism with their music, and reach even further into the grasps of genius. Not only did the Beatles use romantic ideas in song writing, using their highly emotionally evocative and “trippy” imagination, they also recreated romanticism as a style.

Romanticism was brought to life in the early 19th century. It was a movement opposing classicism and realism. It was a lifestyle revolving around the beauty of nature. Romanticism is all about individuality as well, that one without much knowledge can surpass the imagination of one that has had an education, and how one could be an individual by being unique. With imagination, it goes into depth about the surreal and how it and ones emotions can be explored through different states of consciousness such as dreams. Other parts include nationalism and a passion for the exotic and beautiful, a very revolutionary theory. Here is a more extreme idea of the theory, one that agrees very much with modern romanticism: “root of all romanticism: that man, the individual, is an infinite reservoir of possibilities; and if you can so rearrange society by the destruction of oppressive order then these possibilities will have a chance and you will get Progress.”(Robert F. Gleckner, Pg. 36). This quote ties romanticism to one of its influences, socialism.

A big part of The Beatles was their style. It’s what made up most of their individuality, contributing to the first aspect of romantic ideas in their lives. Their style was brought to be by Stuart Sutcliffes German fiancée, Astrid Kirchherr (Hawksley, Lucinda). She brought them the mop tops. This fringed hairstyle was kept as a trademark throughout much of the bands success. Linking directly to early romantic style, men would grow out their hair to show individuality, standing out from others (World Studies,).
The Beatles also incorporated their uniqueness into their dress. Although they all dressed the same for some time, for their genre they were different. With help from their manager Brian Epstein, they strayed from jeans and leather jackets, which is the emblem of the rock genre, and they started with their classic look, suits (Jim Miller, 1980). Moving on through out their success they continue to dress similarly but with different colors, fabrics that look brilliant, and eye catching. Romantics used to dress boldly and outrageously to attract attention, to look like individuals. The Beatles did exactly that. Their boldness is especially shown on the album cover of one of their later albums, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, where the four Beatles are shown in colorful suits adorned uniquely while still staying a true uniform. The reaction to their style was very much that of realists in the early nineteenth century. Not taken seriously by the stiff and factual, they thought The Beatles to be bums and rubbish teens who weren’t going to last. Of course its hard for them to take that to heart when the rest of the human population screaming their name louder that a jet two thousand feet in the air.

Stardom can be a very surreal thing. ITS COMES with glory, with fans, with money, and with drugs (Hawksley, Lucinda). The Beatles were highly influenced by Cannabis and LSD. From the start, even back in Hamburg when they first started playing three sets a day they were living it up under the influence of speed (Rough Guides, 2003). The influence appears greatly after their commotion in the Philippines and a misused quote from John Lennon about the band being “bigger than Jesus” is overblown to a harsh effect (Hawksley, Lucinda). Sure, Revolver and Rubber Soul both showed psychedelic explosions, but songs like ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’ and those passing through the 1967 mood of ‘Summer of Love’ were the acid drenched masterpieces (Luke Crampton & Dafydd Rees, 2003). It’s as if they try to conjure up the experience of taking the drug into their music. With a very psychedelic tone, songs like ‘I’m only sleeping’ and ‘tomorrow never knows’ are a direct product of this approach (Rolling Stone, 2005). These songs were a whirl of color and emotion; it was their dreams magnified to an extent that couldn’t have been done without drugs. They “dreamed in colour” direct quote from John Lennon (The Beatles, 2000). This was their way of discovering self, if not the world at first before they moved to meditation. They took dreams the way romantics used them and jumped into different states of consciousness using the various drugs to over do images creating

I fixed your paper s

“Bands such as the Quarrymen and the Silver Beatles don’t mean much to modern day society (Hawksley, Lucinda). Yet these two particular bands are…”
Get rid of this. Your paper is about the romanticism of the Beatles.

“…and reach even further into the grasps of genius.”
What does this MEAN?!! (get rid of it)

“A very revolutionary theory.” Sentence fragment. In fact, this whole paragraph smacks of copy-paste. Watch our for plagiarism. Use your own words to express these ideas, please.

“Here is a more extreme idea of the theory” This is weak writing. Never use “Here is…”, just present your idea. “Another, more extreme theory is…” There’s no such thing as an “idea of a theory”.

“A very revolutionary theory” Revolutionary to whom? In what way? I’d rather read a paragraph explaining why romanticism was revolutionary instead of this paragraph.

Socialism is not an influence of romanticism. Romanticism may come out of wanting to topple an oppressive order, but socialism is a political model, not a social movement. Check out the “counter culture revolution” instead, of which the Beatles were a major influence.

“It’s what made up most of their individuality, contributing to the first aspect of romantic ideas in their lives. ” Rephrase this. It makes no sense.

“Their style was brought to be by Stuart Sutcliffes German fiancée, Astrid Kirchherr (Hawksley, Lucinda). She brought them the mop tops. This fringed hairstyle was kept as a trademark throughout much of the bands success.” More copy-paste. Don’t do this. I’m telling you it is the worst possible habit you can develop.

“Romantics used to dress boldly and outrageously to attract attention, to look like individuals. The Beatles did exactly that. Their boldness is especially shown on the album cover of one of their later albums, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, where the four Beatles are shown in colorful suits adorned uniquely while still staying a true uniform.” More copy-paste, but it’s the most interesting thing in your paper. Put this in your own words, and you’re on to something.

“Stardom can be a very surreal thing….” Again, your paper degenerates into a copy-paste fest. This isn’t YOUR WRITING.

Here’s what I’d have you do if you were in my class, not as a punishment, but as a writing exercise: Rewrite as much of the paper as you can from memory. Why? All of those cool ideas about romanticism and fashion and help from major fashion moguls and stardom….all of that needs to get tied together as your own idea. Imagine explaining the Beatles to a group of friends at a party, and while everyone agrees they had cool music, and that they were a big influence, only YOU would be able to explain exactly WHY, and then you’d take some cute guy off somewhere at the party and tell him about “romanticism” and how the Beatles expressed that so well during the counter-culture movement….see where this stuff becomes useful?

Write an outline of this, and then write a good, interesting essay on it. Good luck.