You know You’re in College When???
You Know You’re in College When…
Type: Just for Fun – Inside Jokes
Description: You know you’re in college when…
1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early.”
2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.
3. Weekends start on Thursday.
4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.
7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.
8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.
9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.
10. You can’t remember the last time you washed your car.
11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.
12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.
13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.
14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.
16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.
17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them… sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.
18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.
19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.
20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.
21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.
22. You go to Target or WalMart more than 3 times a week.
23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.
24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class… anything with caffeine will do.
25. Quarters are like gold.
26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.
27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc…
29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.
30. You ask people what YOU did last night.
31. Certain things are now deemed “facebook worthy.” When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.
32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.
33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
34. You sleep more in class than in your room
35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.
36. You’ve traveled with bags of dirty clothes.
37. You go home to do your laundry because you’re too poor to pay the $ 2… or too lazy to go to a change machine.
38. You pay $ 100 for a book you don’t read once, return it four months later, and get $ 7.
39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.
40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday’s meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal – a safe bet for any meal.
41. You use words like “thus” (see #40).
42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don’t feel like washing them.
43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.
44. It takes preparation… and 3 people… to take out your garbage.
45. Going to the library is a social event.
46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year… you know why.
47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.
49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.
50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going… technology fees? I think not.
51. Bicycles don’t seem as lame as they did in high school.
52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.
53. Girls: You’ve balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.
54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
55. You’ve written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $ 2.00 of gas.
56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.
57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.
58. Most of your T.A.s are foreign…what’s the deal?
59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
60. You never realized so many people are more dumb (aka “dumber”) than you.
61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you’d never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.
62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.
63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.
64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.
65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.
66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
67. Two words: bike cops.
68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.
69. Old school Nintendo… and guitar hero… are pretty much the best things ever.
70. Going to the grocery at midnight is completely normal.
71. You call restaurants that deliver more than you call your own family.
72. You’ve paid bills over $ 5… in coins.
73. You can’t imagine life without your computer/cell phone/ ipod.
74. Hoodies and sweatpants become the norm – jeans are considered “dressy” at certain occasions… like school.
75. A canceled class is almost as exciting as Christmas.
76. Taking a nap in the library is perfectly acceptable.
77. Your professors speak English… as a second language.
78. Your teachers swear in class and no one cares.
79. Candles in your dorm room are considered contraband, but cigarettes are ok.
80. You take condiment packets and napkins from fast food restaurants – hey, they’re free.
81. Betta fish are like your family.
82. You bring back socks from the laundry room that may or may not be yours.
83. You know what people carrying suspiciously heavy backpacks after dark are doing…
84. The elevators take forever but you’ll wait 10 minutes just so you don’t have to climb stairs.
85. Your roommate asks you to check the weather on your computer when they’re standing 5 feet away from the door.
86. Showers become more of an issue.
87. You press the automatic door opener instead of simply grabbing the handle when you approach a door.
88. Christmas lights seem to be acceptable all year round.
89. Class size doubles on exam days.
90. You donate plasma even though you know it’s pretty sketchy.
91. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you.
92. You’ve bought Christmas presents from the book store and charged it to your student account so your parents pay for the gifts because you’re too broke.
93. You begin to include ketchup on your list of acceptable vegetables.
94. You stay on campus for hours in between classes when it’s too cold to walk home.
95. People have to help you kick the vending machine just so you can get your 50 cent bag of chips.
96. There’s always a “question kid” in at least one of your classes, and you really wish someone would just tell him/her to shut the hell up.
97. You steal dishes from the cafeteria so you don’t have to wash your own.
98. Laundry is an all-day event.
99. You no longer find it uncool to take naps. In fact, you quite enjoy them.
100. It’s illegal to drink in the dorms yet they sell an assortment of shot glasses, beer mugs, tankards, etc. in the bookstore.
101. You find your list of acceptable napping places expanding daily to increasingly uncomfortable locations.
102. You fill out credit card applications for the free food.
103. You’ve eaten cereal out of a cup… with a fork.
104. Dressing up for Halloween becomes cool again.
105. You know at least one person who has dropped his/her cell phone into a toilet.
106. You hang multiple shirts on the same hanger to save space/money.
107. You become increasingly annoyed with the “old” people in class – props to them for going back to college but they generally ask really, really annoying questions.
108. You admire people’s alcohol bottle shrines.
109. You set your clock 5-10 minutes ahead so you can potentially make it to class on time.
110. You eventually realize that setting your clock ahead makes no difference to you and you’re still late.
111. You check ratemyprofessor.com (or something of the like) before choosing your class schedule.
112. You text faster than you type.
113. You only find out a class is cancelled after you get there and sit for about ten minutes.
114. You actually start using coupons, especially those school coupon books.
115. You open canned food and eat it… out of the can.
116. You run out of black ink and, instead of buying a new ink cartridge, decide blue is a nice substitute… adds a little flair.
117. You have numbers in your phone with labels like “Sketchy Steve” and “Alcohol Guy.”
118. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.
119. The words “google” and “wikipedia” have become verbs. And you use them… quite often.
120. The names Morgan, Jim, Jack, and Jose could aptly describe either who you were with last night or what you had to drink.
121. You fill your empty two-liter bottles with pop from the school cafeteria.
122. You have a drinking buddy who can hold the most intellectual, deep conversations when drunk. Unfortunately, neither he/she nor you can remember most of it later.
123. Your floor has been dirty to the point that you’ve had to brush your feet off before putting on socks or getting into bed.
124. You’re all for the free samples at grocery stores.
125. Energy drinks become your new best friends.
126. You realize that taking summer classes pretty much negates the fun connotation of “summer.”
127. You know exactly how much food will fit into a mini-fridge.
128. You realize that said mini-fridge does NOT freeze ice cream.
129. You’ve made a sandwich on or eaten food off of your $ 1500 laptop.
130. Your scar stories involve alcohol and/or hearing what happened to you from your more sober friends.
131. You finish reading this and wonder how you can procrastinate next.
1. When you turned 21 you kicked it in the club or bar everyday for a whole month straight.
2. You would go to the “caf” before class, and end up staying in the caf and ditching your class because you were having so much fun there.
3. 10 people would gather in a dorm room to smoke one joint.
do you think this is funny?
You know you’re in college when…
1. High school started before 8am, but now anything before noon is considered “early.
”
2. You have more beer than food in your fridge.
3. Weekends start on Thursday.
4. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
5. You know many different ways to cook ramen noodles or macaroni and cheese.
6. The health center gives out free condoms, and people take them… just in case.
7. Instead of falling asleep in class, you stay in bed.
8. You know how late McDonald’s, Taco Bell, Qdoba, etc. are open.
9. You think it’s the weekend on a Wednesday and you don’t know what month it is.
10. You can’t remember the last time you washed your car.
11. Your underwear/sock supply dictates your laundry schedule.
12. You check Facebook/Myspace more than once a day.
13. You get drunk dialed on any night of the week.
14. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
15. You’ve fallen off a loft bed.
16. You talk about beer pong like it’s a sport.
17. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal, and you even sympathize with them… sometimes when you wake up you have no idea where you are.
18. Your primary news sources are the Daily Show and the Colbert Report.
19. You open a beer at 10 am and your roommate asks you if there’s more.
20. The standard of meals per day falls to two, sometimes just one.
21. Your trash is overflowing and your bank account isn’t.
22. You go to Target or WalMart more than 3 times a week.
23. You wear the same jeans for 13 days without washing them.
24. Your breakfast consists of a coke or cereal bar on the way to class… anything with caffeine will do.
25. Quarters are like gold.
26. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some ramen noodles.
27. You live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
28. You try to study but seem to procrastinate by eating, going to study breaks, talking to people, etc…
29. You talk to your roommate on instant messenger when you’re both home.
30. You ask people what YOU did last night.
31. Certain things are now deemed “facebook worthy.” When friends take pictures of you, you wonder how long it will take them to post them.
32. You’ve seen a hit and run involving a bicyclist/pedestrian.
33. You see people you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
34.
You sleep more in class than in your room
35. Your idea of a square meal is a box of Pop-Tarts.
36. You’ve traveled with bags of dirty clothes.
37. You go home to do your laundry because you’re too poor to pay the $ 2… or too lazy to go to a change machine.
38. You pay $ 100 for a book you don’t read once, return it four months later, and get $ 7.
39. More than 20% of your household furnishings are made from milk crates.
40. You recognize the meat in the dorm soup as yesterday’s meatloaf, and thus decide to eat a nice bowl of cereal – a safe bet for any meal.
41. You use words like “thus” (see #40).
42. You throw out bowls and plates because you don’t feel like washing them.
43. Your beer pong table is nicer than all your other tables.
44. It takes preparation… and 3 people… to take out your garbage.
45. Going to the library is a social event.
46. You wear flip flops in the shower your freshman year… you know why.
47. You start joining clubs because of the free food.
48. Visits home depend on how much money you have for gas.
49. You skip one class to write a paper for another.
50. You have no idea where your tuition money is going… technology fees? I think not.
51. Bicycles don’t seem as lame as they did in high school.
52. You stay up late to finish homework then sleep through the class in which it was due.
53. Girls: You’ve balanced your foot on a shampoo bottle to shave.
54. Your backpack is giving you scoliosis.
55. You’ve written a check for 45 cents or stopped to get $ 2.00 of gas.
56. Your bill in the bookstore will be comparable to tuition.
57. Going to the mailbox becomes an ego booster/breaker.
58. Most of your T.A.s are foreign…what’s the deal?
59. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
60. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
61. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you’d never know, but you can recite the last episode of your favorite show verbatim.
62. Care packages rank right up there with birthdays.
63. You craft ways to make any game into a drinking/stripping game.
64. You meet the type of people you thought only existed in movies.
65. Printers break down only when you desperately need them.
66. Anything can be cooked in a microwave.
67. Two words: bike cops.
68. You have Safe Ride programmed into your phone.
BTW, even with a comfortable living, I still love Ramen noodles and mac-n-cheese.
Why don’t democrats admit that most “news” media are propaganda tools for promoting their socialist agenda?
-5/05 University of Connecticut’s Department of Public Policy survey of journalists, nationwide: 52% supported Kerry, versus 19% for Bush.
-11/21/08 Zogby poll: The web is the most trusted news medium (over TV and print combined); Fox News is the most trusted TV news source with approval rating of 39% while CNN is rated 16% and MSNBC is 15%. Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Stephen Colbert and Chris Matthews were the least trusted, all with scores under 2%. More people in this poll identified themselves as Democrats than Republicans. A majority think the media is biased.
-2008 Pew poll: Fox viewers are least politically skewed: Republicans 39%, Democrats 33%; CNN viewers were 51% democrat, 18% Republican.
—————–
Polls of Americans about how they saw the Big Media’s coverage of the 2008 election:
-Rasmussen poll: 69% thought it was pro-Obama, 6% pro-McCain
-Pew Research poll: 67% thought it was pro-Obama, 11% pro-McCain
-Sacred Heart University poll: 68% pro Obama, 9% pro McCain
-Fox News/Opinion Dynamics poll: 67% pro-Obama, 11% pro-McCain
——————
-8/27/10 The Examiner: “Obama, Democrats got 88% of 2008 contributions by TV network execs, writers, reporters”: Senior executives, on-air personalities, producers, reporters, editors, writers and other self-identifying employees of ABC, CBS and NBC contributed more than $ 1 million to Democratic candidates and campaign committees in 2008. Democratic total of $ 1,020,816 was given by 1,160 employees of the three major broadcast television networks, with an average contribution of $ 880. By contrast, only 193 of the employees contributed to Republican candidates and campaign committees, for a total of $ 142,863.
——————
-10/21/06 Daily Mail: BBC CEO M. Grade is caught (unknowingly) on tape saying: BBC favors multiculturalism and Muslims. He also said: Christians are to be trashed; America has no moral weight; Leftists run BBC; BBC Diversity Tsar wants a veiled female reporter; demeans rural people.
-6/17/07 Daily Telegraph: The BBC has failed to promote proper debate on major political issues because of the inherent liberal culture of its staff a report commissioned by BBC itself has concluded. Says BBC director general Mark Thompson: “In the BBC I joined 30 years ago, there was, in much of current affairs, in terms of people’s personal politics, which were quite vocal, a massive bias to the left.”
-9/8/08 Daily Telegraph: Sikh and Hindu leaders have complained that a disproportionate number of programmes have been made about Islam, at the expense of programmes on their own faiths. An analysis of programmes from the BBC’s Religion and Ethics department claims that since 2001, the BBC has made 41 programmes on Islam, five on Hinduism and one on Sikhism.
-4/26/11 Daily Telegraph UK, WikiLeaks: In leaked files BBC is accused of being part of a “possible propaganda media network” for Al Qaeda, according to the leaked US files on the Guantanamo detainees.
-2/4/10 Gallup poll: 61% of liberals have a positive view of socialism.
-6/2/11 Gallup poll: 71% of democrats favor re-distributing wealth.
1/11/44, FDR’s address to Congress:
We have accepted, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all—regardless of station, race, or creed.
Among these are:
The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;
The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation;
The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living;
The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad;
The right of every family to a decent home;
The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health;
The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment;
The right to a good education.
“so·cial·ism
A political and economic theory of social organization that advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole”
Nowhere has any government – including Obama’s – seized everything from farms & factories to stores & businesses and then put themselves out of a job by handing direct control of everything directly to the public.
2. What do your quotes from the BBC (British Broadcasting System) have to with the US Democratic Party?
3. FDR’s address to congress seem to me to be a pretty good interpretation of the Preamble to the Constitution (1787).
“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”
Why don’t democrats admit that most “news” media are propaganda tools for promoting their socialist agenda?
-5/05 University of Connecticut’s Department of Public Policy survey of journalists, nationwide: 52% supported Kerry, versus 19% for Bush.
-11/21/08 Zogby poll: The web is the most trusted news medium (over TV and print combined); Fox News is the most trusted TV news source with approval rating of 39% while CNN is rated 16% and MSNBC is 15%. Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Stephen Colbert and Chris Matthews were the least trusted, all with scores under 2%. More people in this poll identified themselves as Democrats than Republicans. A majority think the media is biased.
-2008 Pew poll: Fox viewers are least politically skewed: Republicans 39%, Democrats 33%; CNN viewers were 51% democrat, 18% Republican.
—————–
Polls of Americans about how they saw the Big Media’s coverage of the 2008 election:
-Rasmussen poll: 69% thought it was pro-Obama, 6% pro-McCain
-Pew Research poll: 67% thought it was pro-Obama, 11% pro-McCain
-Sacred Heart University poll: 68% pro Obama, 9% pro McCain
-Fox News/Opinion Dynamics poll: 67% pro-Obama, 11% pro-McCain
——————
-8/27/10 The Examiner: “Obama, Democrats got 88% of 2008 contributions by TV network execs, writers, reporters”: Senior executives, on-air personalities, producers, reporters, editors, writers and other self-identifying employees of ABC, CBS and NBC contributed more than $ 1 million to Democratic candidates and campaign committees in 2008. Democratic total of $ 1,020,816 was given by 1,160 employees of the three major broadcast television networks, with an average contribution of $ 880. By contrast, only 193 of the employees contributed to Republican candidates and campaign committees, for a total of $ 142,863.
——————
-10/21/06 Daily Mail: BBC CEO M. Grade is caught (unknowingly) on tape saying: BBC favors multiculturalism and Muslims. He also said: Christians are to be trashed; America has no moral weight; Leftists run BBC; BBC Diversity Tsar wants a veiled female reporter; demeans rural people.
-6/17/07 Daily Telegraph: The BBC has failed to promote proper debate on major political issues because of the inherent liberal culture of its staff a report commissioned by BBC itself has concluded. Says BBC director general Mark Thompson: “In the BBC I joined 30 years ago, there was, in much of current affairs, in terms of people’s personal politics, which were quite vocal, a massive bias to the left.”
-9/8/08 Daily Telegraph: Sikh and Hindu leaders have complained that a disproportionate number of programmes have been made about Islam, at the expense of programmes on their own faiths. An analysis of programmes from the BBC’s Religion and Ethics department claims that since 2001, the BBC has made 41 programmes on Islam, five on Hinduism and one on Sikhism.
-4/26/11 Daily Telegraph UK, WikiLeaks: In leaked files BBC is accused of being part of a “possible propaganda media network” for Al Qaeda, according to the leaked US files on the Guantanamo detainees.
-2/4/10 Gallup poll: 61% of liberals have a positive view of socialism.
-6/2/11 Gallup poll: 71% of democrats favor re-distributing wealth.
1/11/44, FDR’s address to Congress:
We have accepted, so to speak, a second Bill of Rights under which a new basis of security and prosperity can be established for all—regardless of station, race, or creed.
Among these are:
The right to a useful and remunerative job in the industries or shops or farms or mines of the nation;
The right to earn enough to provide adequate food and clothing and recreation;
The right of every farmer to raise and sell his products at a return which will give him and his family a decent living;
The right of every businessman, large and small, to trade in an atmosphere of freedom from unfair competition and domination by monopolies at home or abroad;
The right of every family to a decent home;
The right to adequate medical care and the opportunity to achieve and enjoy good health;
The right to adequate protection from the economic fears of old age, sickness, accident, and unemployment;
The right to a good education.
Your irrational rant shows that you’re likely immune to rational debate, so I’ve little else to say.
We can throw statistics at each other all day, but it is -far- too easy to just say the other side is wrong.
I don’t really see a question here, rather than just a wall of text that you’re using to start an argument with.
They don’t care about the truth – you really need to realize that!
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If this were even the slightest bit true, why don’t they control everything?
SUrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrE… Now EVERONE KNOWS…… Fair and balanced was never a claim by any of them… Why? Because they ARE NOT…….
LOLOLOOLOLLLOLOLO
† FNS †
So Fox news is the only one that’s right, all the others are part of a conspiracy? Right. Thank you Chicken Little but no thanks..
They refuse to admit the obvious.
probably because your rant is false
Whew littel rant there…butwhy/when do dems ever admit to anything?
If this were even the slightest bit true, why don’t they control everything?